Friday, May 05, 2006

Kinky "Gets It" About Illegal Mexican Aliens

I just saw a story in the Texarkana Gazette that showed me Kinky Friedman gets it. Here's what Texas governor candidate Kinky said about the illegal Mexican alien problem:

"Mexico is not a poor country...all of these politicians are afraid of offending Hispanics. I want the border off the evening news until we get something resolved."

Kinky's been saying that Mexico ain't poor for better than a year now. Here's a another story out of the Kilgore News Herald, where Kinky says "Mexico is not a poor country."

Here's some other interesting stuff out of that story:

"He proposes auctioning Texas sports funding to the highest bidder -- Nike or Coca Cola or Adidas or some other corporation that would like the opportunity to “get their hooks into the athletes while they’re still young.”

...

“I am going to see non-denominational prayer and the Ten Commandments put back in the schools.”

Friedman said the Ten Commandments might have to be called the ten rules or something similar but they need to be back in the schools. “They say this is part of my wussification campaign but, as my spiritual advisor Billy Jo Schafer says, “If you don’t love Jesus, go to hell.”

One of Friedman’s most unusual ideas addresses border security.

He proposes creating what he calls the Five Mexican Generals plan. As he lays it out, the border with Mexico would be divided into five pieces with a Mexican general responsible for each. A $1 million trust fund would be created for each general.

“When I talk about the five Mexican generals, people think I’m joking but I’m dead serious,” said Friedman. “I will divide the border into five jurisdictions, assigning one Mexican general to each and providing a trust fund for that general. Every time a person crosses illegally, we subtract $5,000 from the trust fund.”

14 Comments:

Blogger yellowdog granny said...

gee, im really starting to rethink my vote...when's he gonna get serious and give us some thoughts on his solutions..????
kinky maybe awesome in the sense that he makes my jaw drop open.

6:23 PM  
Blogger Kinky is Awesome said...

Kinky is serious about the Five Mexican Generals plan. In fact, Kinky has talked to John McCain about it, and McCain thinks it's a great idea. Since John McCain is gonna be the next president, having Governor Kinky and President McCain on the same page will help set things straight.

9:12 AM  
Blogger yellowdog granny said...

well...between your articles and kinky's bullshit answers to serious questions..you have turned me around...i will vote for bell..i did not vote for bush(either time or either one of them.)if you have read any part of my blog you will know that i am a pagan, dont believe in God, but do think Jesus is a nice guy...but not the son of God..I hate George w. Bush so much that if he were struck down by a bolt of lightning from the Goddess...I would celebrate and throw a fucking party..he is stupid and evil...and if Kinky is for him....Im not for Kinky...please...get a real candidate to vote for...

3:16 PM  
Blogger Kinky is Awesome said...

YDG:

I enjoy your blog.

You have more in common with Kinky than you think:

You say "that i am a pagan, dont believe in God, but do think Jesus is a nice guy...but not the son of God." Kinky feels much the same way about Jesus.

I understand that the President isn't as popular as he once was, but you ought not hold it against Kinky that he's a strong supporter of the President -- most American voters and, by an even larger majority, most Texan voters voted for the President. You can't rightly penalize Kinky for voting with the majority of Texans to elect a president from Texas, can you?

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